Adulthood continues to elude me. While others my age are knee deep in a career or kids or a long term relationship or the combination of all those things I am waist deep in a feelings of “God, why would’ya?”
I don’t see myself changing. People tell me just wait to you find that girl. Yeah I don’t think that’s going to happen. Why the hell would I want that to happen? Hanging your hopes on something based on the feudal concept of you get married, you have kid, maintaining the farm, and paying tribute to your lord regularly. Lord being the guy who owns the land that everyone farms on and tribute being taxes basically. Go to school learn something or the library. What’s a library? It’s that place where there are books and in major cities homeless people go there to sleep.
Even now, as first marriages are ending and I am suddenly an option for a few people (even though I am fat and balding.) why would I even entertain the idea of dating you? In a failed marriage, let’s get real, one of two things happens. 1. You were either an emotional and/or physical punching bag or 2. You were the person using the other person as an emotional and/or physical punching bag. And now you want me to jump on that train? No thanks, lady!
You don’t all of a sudden change after a marriage ends and have it be for the better. If you were the emotional monster in the failed relationship you are going to stay that emotional monster. If you weren’t the monster, you were what some would call the victim. You’ll be closed off and unable to be in a healthy relationship or you’ll go the other way and refuse to be the victim again and you become the emotional monster. Everything will become a fight with you at this point, and I don’t feel like getting yelled every time I decide to crack a few beers and watch a hockey game. What I am saying is the prospects of a life long relationship do not necessarily appeal to me and if that’s what it takes to be an adult, I’m out. Sure I’ll have a beer with you but and pretend to listen, but let’s get one thing straight you’re picking up the tab because I could be doing this at home, by myself, watching ESPN.
Adulthood is a funny thing. Adulthood has these measurements like a good job, a happy marriage, some kids, and a house you’re tied to for 30+ years like a boat anchor. I almost went down that road at one point or two there may have been a 3rd in there, but I didn’t. Thank god, because I’d probably be dead by one of their hands at this point because I am terrible judge of character when it comes to a pretty woman. Here’s a little tip if I find you attractive and after a little bit decide to pursue, make an appointment with a mental health professional because you most likely have some serious emotional issues and need a Prozac, Paxil, Abilify cocktail.
I am literally on the verge of complete and utter financial ruin. Technically right now, due to debt I have less than no money. You can literally put a number figure to how much I am not worth. I moved around the country looking for work with little to no success. I want to know why that’s not a measure of adulthood. I look at where my older siblings are and even my younger brother and think to myself “Shit, I did everything they did plus way more. Why don’t I have liquid assets, a home, a car, a job and all that crap? I did everything I supposed to do and went above beyond.”
The answer is, that’s not me. That’s a kind of prison. There are three squares a day, a place to sleep, and plan for everything. It all has an element of safety to it. That would drive me up a wall. I don’t want to be told when to eat, when to sleep, when and where I can do anything. I’ve made good decisions and I have made some bad ones but at least of made them. Some I regret, some I don’t. And by the way if someone says they have no regrets, they have the most regrets.
You married people with your kids, jobs, and house I know your just judging me because you settled into a life and you’re trapped in it. The truth is I don’t know what the hell I am doing but at least I can get up and walk out.
I don’t see myself changing. People tell me just wait to you find that girl. Yeah I don’t think that’s going to happen. Why the hell would I want that to happen? Hanging your hopes on something based on the feudal concept of you get married, you have kid, maintaining the farm, and paying tribute to your lord regularly. Lord being the guy who owns the land that everyone farms on and tribute being taxes basically. Go to school learn something or the library. What’s a library? It’s that place where there are books and in major cities homeless people go there to sleep.
Even now, as first marriages are ending and I am suddenly an option for a few people (even though I am fat and balding.) why would I even entertain the idea of dating you? In a failed marriage, let’s get real, one of two things happens. 1. You were either an emotional and/or physical punching bag or 2. You were the person using the other person as an emotional and/or physical punching bag. And now you want me to jump on that train? No thanks, lady!
You don’t all of a sudden change after a marriage ends and have it be for the better. If you were the emotional monster in the failed relationship you are going to stay that emotional monster. If you weren’t the monster, you were what some would call the victim. You’ll be closed off and unable to be in a healthy relationship or you’ll go the other way and refuse to be the victim again and you become the emotional monster. Everything will become a fight with you at this point, and I don’t feel like getting yelled every time I decide to crack a few beers and watch a hockey game. What I am saying is the prospects of a life long relationship do not necessarily appeal to me and if that’s what it takes to be an adult, I’m out. Sure I’ll have a beer with you but and pretend to listen, but let’s get one thing straight you’re picking up the tab because I could be doing this at home, by myself, watching ESPN.
Adulthood is a funny thing. Adulthood has these measurements like a good job, a happy marriage, some kids, and a house you’re tied to for 30+ years like a boat anchor. I almost went down that road at one point or two there may have been a 3rd in there, but I didn’t. Thank god, because I’d probably be dead by one of their hands at this point because I am terrible judge of character when it comes to a pretty woman. Here’s a little tip if I find you attractive and after a little bit decide to pursue, make an appointment with a mental health professional because you most likely have some serious emotional issues and need a Prozac, Paxil, Abilify cocktail.
I am literally on the verge of complete and utter financial ruin. Technically right now, due to debt I have less than no money. You can literally put a number figure to how much I am not worth. I moved around the country looking for work with little to no success. I want to know why that’s not a measure of adulthood. I look at where my older siblings are and even my younger brother and think to myself “Shit, I did everything they did plus way more. Why don’t I have liquid assets, a home, a car, a job and all that crap? I did everything I supposed to do and went above beyond.”
The answer is, that’s not me. That’s a kind of prison. There are three squares a day, a place to sleep, and plan for everything. It all has an element of safety to it. That would drive me up a wall. I don’t want to be told when to eat, when to sleep, when and where I can do anything. I’ve made good decisions and I have made some bad ones but at least of made them. Some I regret, some I don’t. And by the way if someone says they have no regrets, they have the most regrets.
You married people with your kids, jobs, and house I know your just judging me because you settled into a life and you’re trapped in it. The truth is I don’t know what the hell I am doing but at least I can get up and walk out.
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St. Bernardus I give you you a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit for taste and a Boris Yeltsin for your 10% ABV.